Mom Was Right
For YEARS my mom has kept what we refer to as The Book. The Book, spoken about in ominous tones, had information that would be necessary for someone else to know in case something happened to our mom and dad. Growing up, my sister and I hated any reference to The Book as if acknowledging its existence would cause something bad to actually happen.
By the time I got married I had decided that mom was pretty smart to keep such a Book. But I certainly didn’t want to LOOK at it! And I had no desire for one of my own.
About 7 years after we were married, my husband’s father, who was a widower, passed away. Whoa. Now everything was up to his two young-adult sons and daughters-in-law who were trying to figure out what all he had, and what final arrangements he would have wanted. It would have been handy if there had been a Book. My mom may have been on to something.
Years later, when many of our peers had growing children, my husband and I had an epiphany: If something happens to YOU, who will take care of ME!! We did not have children and we realized we’d better get ourselves a Book or no telling what would happen! Sigh…maturity had finally settled in. So, because of our situation, we decided to have a living trust, which included, but was not limited to, instructions for what certain people should do in case we were incapacitated as opposed to just dead. We now have our own Book.
A couple of years ago my mom was insistent that we discuss HER Book. This time I wasn’t nearly as afraid of The Book as I had been in years past. In fact, it wasn’t a sad conversation at all. We actually laughed and had a good time. The Book, once so scary, is now a friend. Go figure.
So what is the point of this little narrative? Hello! Make your own Book! I know, I know. It sounds like an icky thing to do. And it will require a few legal documents. But it really does put you in charge. Ooo, now that should appeal to you! Encourage your folks to have their own Book. If you have kids, for heaven’s sake have mercy on them and show them your Book. You don’t have to be dreary and dismal to have a Book conversation. Be creative. Have fun with it! You’re a boomer, after all. And we boomers do EVERYTHING our own way!
